The Teacher Gift Poll Is Tied Three Ways and Still Open

On 4 November a parent with great energy and no fear created a poll in the class chat. The question was "Christmas gift for Mrs Okafor, how much per family?" The options were €5, €10, €15 and "Other". It was the bravest act the class had seen since someone offered to bring the tea urn.

By 20:30 the poll stood at eight votes for €5, nine for €10, eight for €15 and one for "Other", who had also, in a separate message, written "depends what we're getting??". Four people had voted and then deleted their vote. You can see that in a poll. The chat could not see who, but it felt them.

What a perfect tie does to people

A tie in three directions is a very specific kind of silence. Nobody can claim the number, because the number has been disproved by two other numbers. The chat went quiet the way a pub goes quiet when someone says "anyone for the quiz?".

• 20:41 "Wow, that's evenly split!"
• 20:42 "Interesting"
• 20:55 "So what are we thinking?"
• 21:03 "bump"

"Bump" is the loneliest word in any group chat. It has no content, no emoji and no owner.

21:40, the treasurer arrives

I am the treasurer. In the end, when a poll has three equal heads, the treasurer is the person with the biscuit. Mine was a ginger nut, which is a serious biscuit and does not pretend otherwise.

I looked at the numbers like someone reading a very short will. There were twenty-six families. At €5 each that is €130, which is a nice voucher. At €15 it is €390, which is a voucher with a story. €10 sat in the middle with nine votes and a calm face.

A word about penguins

I read, at this point, about how emperor penguins decide when to leave the huddle. Nobody leads. One penguin shuffles a little when the cold gets bad enough, the shuffle passes down the row, and eventually the whole huddle has moved ten metres without a meeting. I think a class poll is the same animal, except that every penguin is waiting to see if somebody else shuffles first.

Right. Back to the biscuit.

22:00, I pick the middle

I closed my eyes and wrote one message: "Poll is a tie, so let's go with €10 a family for a bookshop voucher. Pay by Friday via the link below. Any amount is welcome and the other parents never see who gave what."

• 22:01 (thumbs up)
• 22:01 (thumbs up)
• 22:02 (thumbs up)
• 22:04 "Where's the link?"

I had put the link in the message. It was the third line. I did not say that. Nobody wants to be the person who says that.

The dull part that stops this from happening

A number is easier to pick when paying comes attached to it. ClassKasa does that with one link: each family sees what it owes, and only the treasurer can see who has paid, which our FAQ says in plain words. Premium is per class, not per parent (pricing), so split across 25 families it is about 24 cents each a month. If you want the sensible, step-by-step version without the biscuit, it lives in how to collect money for a class.

Anyway.

By Friday twenty-three of the twenty-six families had paid, and Mrs Okafor will get a voucher for €230. One father paid twice, by accident, and I sent him back the extra with a thank-you note that was, honestly, longer than the gift tag.

The poll is still open. It has fourteen votes for "Other" now. Nobody has the heart to close it.